When I was pregnant with the boys (my first pregnancy), I went into every appointment prepared to hear bad news. My mom had four miscarriages and two successfull pregnancies, and my grandma had seven miscarriages (that are in her medical records, maybe more) and one successful pregnancy. So, I was surprised that I not only had a successful first pregnancy, but it was a multiples pregnancy. I thought, "Praise the Lord! I don't have my mom's and grandma's problems." I delivered the boys at thirty-five weeks in July 2010 and have two handsome twenty-one month old boys.
I got pregnant May of 2011 and was a little overwhelmed because I would have three under two. But I was definitely up for the challenge not matter how daunting it looked. Since my last pregnancy was problem free, I really had no worries that this pregnancy would be worry free. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I began having complications on July 6, 2011; and the baby was gone shortly thereafter.
It took us nine months to get pregnant again which is the longest it has ever taken us to get pregnant. Again, I was a little overwhelmed because I would have three under three, but I was still up for it. I couldn't wait. I heard the heartbeat during my first ultrasound which never happens for me. I was overjoyed and definitely optimistic for a problem free pregnancy. Unfortunately, I began having complications again on Saturday around six pm. I knew that it was a miscarriage but tried to stay optimistic. I knew the baby was gone the next morning. This morning, I went in for an ultrasound, and there was nothing on the screen. I've never felt that disheartened. A blank screen...and a sympathetic look from Kristy our ultrasound tech...even though she couldn't tell me, I knew and went downstairs to make an appointment with my doctor.
I went this afternoon to see my OB. He told me that it's nothing to be worried about yet and told me that 35% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. So, I'm still well within the average. I got my rhogam shot and card which completed everything for this pregnancy except for paying the final bills.
It's been a long day...and one I hope to never repeat. I'm resting in the comfort of my God and praying for another opportunity to have a new baby in the family. God's Word holds true even through the loss of my child. Romans 8:28-29 states, "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren." I can rest assured that things happen for my good not only because I love Him, not only because I'm called to do His will, but also, and most importantly, because I am being conformed or shaped into the image of His Son. Because of these hard times in my life, God's shaping me to look more like His dear Son, my Savior. Yes, God could stop bad things from happening in my life, but I would miss out on the blessing of becoming more like my Savior. Oh how I dread becoming stagnant and never becoming more like my Savior!
|Slavy baby #3 - we'll meet in Heaven!!|