If it weren't for the ups and downs of life, God's wonderful grace and goodness would never be seen. We would have no need for God's goodness if life were always perfect. Oh, how we would miss many blessings if we never had to depend on God during the tough times of life! How small God would seem if we never experienced Him during these rough times of life! I often hear people say something like this, "God has blessed me because I have good health and healthy children, etc." However, I believe that I am more significantly blessed during the chaos of life. I get to see God's mighty hand mold the life that is before me.
This week, I experienced another rough patch of life. I found out that my baby is in the presence of his (or her) Creator. He is experiencing what I have spent my entire life reading about. Yes, it has been a sad week, but I do take joy in knowing that the only thing this baby will ever know is the perfection of Heaven. He will never have to experience this old, sinful world in which we live. Praise the Lord!!
I also take comfort in knowing that I will see him again. I was more emotional before I learned the final outcome of my doctor's visit Thursday morning. Some have asked if I have grieved over the loss because I haven't cried much. I feel like King David felt in 2 Samuel 12. He fasted, prayed, and wept over his sick child. Once he learned that the child had passed away, he cleaned himself up, put on clean clothes, worshipped the Lord, and ate something. His servants were amazed at the change in him because they thought that he would be worse after he learned of the death. King David explained it this way in 2 Samuel 12:22-23: "And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." Praise the Lord!! Because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and my acknowledgement of His free gift of salvation, I will see my baby for the 1st time. And as my dad so eloquently stated when speaking about his own children in Heaven, "I can say that I have perfect angels in Heaven." I'm sure that he has already met his great-grandparents in Heaven. I know Pete, Pa, & Grandmother are already telling him all about his mom and grandparents. He's also meeting his aunts and/or uncles that I never knew. And, one day, we'll all be together in the presence of our almighty, gracious Lord and Saviour.
I feel blessed to know that God has chosen me to show His goodness through. I feel blessed to know that I have seen His grace once again. I have seen His goodness once again. I have felt His loving arms once again! Praise the Lord that He has counted me worthy to suffer loss! But to not only suffer loss, but to also know his grace and goodness!
Wow, I love how you express your loss. I have had many loss of my children to miscarriage. I take comfort in how you express yourself. Thank you for your honesty and hope we have in Jesus.
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