I really should be sleeping, but it's in the quiet of the night (after husband and boys are asleep) that my mind begins a journey. I'd like to say it's a journey into a mystical land where a princess finds her prince and they live happily ever after. But sadly, it's a list of the days shortcomings; the tasks not completed: checkbook not balanced, laundry not finished, diaper bags not loaded, juice cups for two not fixed, etc. With my mind racing, sleep menacingly evades me, taunting me with its ever closeness. My body is exhausted, but my mind is still running the marathon.
Today has been full of flashbacks to this afternoon. This afternoon, around 1:30, I decided to leave the boys in the living room while I attempted to climb the always present mountain of laundry. Peter and Titus are into everything, but I thought everything harmful was well out of their reach. (Never rely on the false sense of security that often accompanies your vigilant efforts to baby proof the house.) As I was throwing the towels into the laundry, I heard a choking sound in the other room. I hurdled over the baby gate just in time to see Peter throw up the contents of his stomach and a marble he had tried to swallow. Needless to say, my world stopped. I scooped him up and held him close as I made sure nothing else was in his mouth. (It's amazing how he found a marble that I had looked all over for but couldn't find. We should really employ nine month olds as detectives. They can find anything that they're not supposed to have.) Of course, Titus couldn't let his twin brother have all the attention; so, I held two precious nine month old boys in my lap on the floor next to throw up that needed to be cleaned out of the carpet. At that moment, I realized that I can handle problems without going spastic. Raising twins is definitely not the easiest job in the world, but it is manageable. God knew that Peter was going to try to swallow a marble and He knew that Titus was going to pull the folding chair over on him last week. He also knew that I was going to need a level head to handle both of them. Even when things don't seem to be getting done at the pace I would like, I'm able to keep my head on straight and my crazy inside. God has blessed me with two wonderful sons that keep me busy. He has also given me a wonderful husband who helps me everyday be the best wife and mother I can be. And when sleep evades me, I think of these wonderful blessings and try to wipe the slate clean and get some sleep.