Happy Birthday Boys!!

Exactly a year ago, we went from a family of two to a family of four. I cannot believe that it has already been an entire year since they took their first breath of fresh air. It really just seems like yesterday.

Monday, July 26, 2010, I went in for a routine prenatal check-up. My enormous belly itched so badly that I scratched even in my sleep (what little sleep I was able to get). Dr. Simpson took one look at my red, itchy belly and said, "You're ready to deliver, aren't you?" "ABSOLUTELY!!" was my quick, excited answer. He said that Pupp's Syndrome caused the itchy, scaly skin, and there were two ways to cure it: steroids or delivery. At thirty-five and a half weeks, I was going to meet my boys that I had only seen in grainy ultrasound pictures.

We got to the hospital at 6:00 a.m., Tuesday, July 27. Anticipation and my OCD self only allowed me a couple of hours of sleep the previous night, and the lack of sleep was quite evident on Daniel. For those of you who know me, I had to make sure everything was washed, dusted, vacuumed, and scrubbed before I could leave for the hospital. There was no way that I was coming home to a disaster. The lack of sleep hadn't kicked in for me yet. To be perfectly honest, fear and anxiousness had their nasty grip on me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with twins, everyone had to tell me their horror stories. Moms of singletons even told me their horror stories of not getting showers everyday with only one child. They said, "How are you going to handle two at one time!" This horrified me because I have to have at least two showers a day. I can't function with less than two. I did try one day to only take one shower, and it was like I was going through withdrawals; I was fidgety and nervous and had to take a shower during my lunch break. They also told me about how my house would never be the same. From here on out, it would be a disaster. This scared me because I can't function in chaos. So, in my mind, I was going to be an unshowered wreck that can't function. All of this was running through my mind as I waited to be taken back for my c-section which also caused plenty of worrying.

At 9:00 a.m., the nurse came and took me back to get the prep work done. The funniest part of day happened during the prep work. She gave me some medicine to drink that would keep me from getting nauseous once the spinal was administered. Well, there is only one flavor that I can't stand to taste or smell. In fact, it has made me throw-up on occasion: GRAPE. And you guessed it, the medicine was grape flavored. So, I started gagging on the anti-nausea medicine:) Kind of ironic, huh? Daniel thought it was hilarious; of course, he wasn't the one gagging.

They wheeled me into the O.R. at 9:15 a.m. The spinal was administered, and things progressed rather fast after the spinal. Daniel was able to join me, and Dr. Simpson began his work. At 9:29 a.m., they pulled Peter O'Neal Slavy out. He didn't cry at first. While it seemed like forever to me, it was really only about five minutes or less before he started wailing. At 9:30 a.m., Titus Alexander Slavy took his first breath of fresh air and screamed for the first time (and hasn't stopped much). It was so cute when they first started crying because they sounded puppies. (For the first couple of months, their cries were so quiet and squeaky that they sound kind of like puppies. The cute only lasted about a week or so; after that, it was still puppy like but more annoying at 3:00 a.m.) They brought them over for me to see then whisked them away. Because they were four and a half weeks premature, extra care was given to make sure everything was functioning properly.

Once I was out of recovery, Peter was brought to the room. They told me that Titus needed to be monitored a little longer, but Peter checked out perfect. Peter seemed so tiny at five pounds, eleven ounces and eighteen inches long. His ten skinny fingers and ten very long, skinny toes were perfection. I instantly fell in love with this beautiful baby.

Holding Peter for the 1st time

What I didn't know is that Dr. MacLeod, their pediatrician, was concerned about Titus. He contemplated for a little bit about sending him to the NICU at Medical Center but gave him some time to see if his breathing would even out without intervention. Now, I was so out of it because of the lack of sleep and medicine that I don't think I could have comprehended what was happening. Daniel made sure Titus was being taken care of and that I was kept calm and able to recoup. He proved himself to be a wonderful daddy and husband. He definitely was my rock and comfort! Around mid-morning, Daniel announced that Titus, praise the Lord, began to breathe evenly on his own, and Dr. MacLeod gave the word that he was to stay at Doctor's Hospital. However, he had to stay in the nursery for the rest of the day to be monitored just in case things changed.

I held Peter all day, but I still wanted to see Titus. No sleeping would happen that night until I saw my Titus. Nothing was going to keep from seeing him in the nursery and holding his tiny little hand. I knew he was six pounds, five ounces and nineteen and a quarter inches long, but I hadn't been able to count his fingers and toes. I amazed the nurses and climbed out of bed and into a wheelchair on my own the day of my c-section. Everyone was shocked because theoretically I was supposed to stay in bed till Wednesday a.m., at least. But never, ever, ever underestimate the power of a mother!! At 9:30 p.m., I was able to hold Titus's hand and count his ten fingers and ten toes. It was once again love at first sight.

Seeing Titus for the 1st time

Much has changed since then. Peter is eighteen pounds, and Titus is a whopping twenty-two pounds. They're beginning to walk and express themselves, but my love for them remains stedfast. Each morning, I walk into their room and am greeted by two smiling faces. God has certainly blessed! Even though Titus has unfortunately been to the emergency room twice, it's been pretty much smooth sailing. God gave me a wonderful husband who through it all has remained my rock. I could not have remained sane at times if it were not for him. God also gave me wonderful parents. My mom has helped even when she didn't feel like it. It's not always easy for her to do what she wants, but she has many times helped me remain sane too. Without the support of them and an awesome church family, raising my twin sons would be much more difficult. As someone recently stated, "They're the church's babies!

Titus on the left

Peter on the right

And last, but not least, "Happy Birthday to Peter and Titus!!" Mommy loves you very much and can't imagine life without you.

Time Flies!!

It's hard to believe that a week from today the boys will be 1 year old. Can you believe it? I was told and read over and over again that because they were preemies they would more than likely be behind. We were told to expect to see milestones reached around their "corrected age." So, since they were five weeks early, we should expect them to be about a month behind other babies their age. Well, so far, that has not been the case for my beautiful boys. In fact, Titus took his first steps Tuesday (July 19); and Peter took his first steps Wednesday (July 20). This is very much within the timeline for their actual ages. It's hard to believe that this time last year I was worried about when they would come out because I knew they would be preemies. I was overwhelmingly worried that they would be behind other babies their age; but God, once again, proved that there is no need to worry, no matter the outcome. Well, this one is short, sweet, and to the point. I just wanted to brag on my boys:)

The Goodness of the Lord

If it weren't for the ups and downs of life, God's wonderful grace and goodness would never be seen. We would have no need for God's goodness if life were always perfect. Oh, how we would miss many blessings if we never had to depend on God during the tough times of life! How small God would seem if we never experienced Him during these rough times of life! I often hear people say something like this, "God has blessed me because I have good health and healthy children, etc." However, I believe that I am more significantly blessed during the chaos of life. I get to see God's mighty hand mold the life that is before me.

This week, I experienced another rough patch of life. I found out that my baby is in the presence of his (or her) Creator. He is experiencing what I have spent my entire life reading about. Yes, it has been a sad week, but I do take joy in knowing that the only thing this baby will ever know is the perfection of Heaven. He will never have to experience this old, sinful world in which we live. Praise the Lord!!

I also take comfort in knowing that I will see him again. I was more emotional before I learned the final outcome of my doctor's visit Thursday morning. Some have asked if I have grieved over the loss because I haven't cried much. I feel like King David felt in 2 Samuel 12. He fasted, prayed, and wept over his sick child. Once he learned that the child had passed away, he cleaned himself up, put on clean clothes, worshipped the Lord, and ate something. His servants were amazed at the change in him because they thought that he would be worse after he learned of the death. King David explained it this way in 2 Samuel 12:22-23: "And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." Praise the Lord!! Because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and my acknowledgement of His free gift of salvation, I will see my baby for the 1st time. And as my dad so eloquently stated when speaking about his own children in Heaven, "I can say that I have perfect angels in Heaven." I'm sure that he has already met his great-grandparents in Heaven. I know Pete, Pa, & Grandmother are already telling him all about his mom and grandparents. He's also meeting his aunts and/or uncles that I never knew. And, one day, we'll all be together in the presence of our almighty, gracious Lord and Saviour.

I feel blessed to know that God has chosen me to show His goodness through. I feel blessed to know that I have seen His grace once again. I have seen His goodness once again. I have felt His loving arms once again! Praise the Lord that He has counted me worthy to suffer loss! But to not only suffer loss, but to also know his grace and goodness!