Happy Birthday Boys!!

Exactly a year ago, we went from a family of two to a family of four. I cannot believe that it has already been an entire year since they took their first breath of fresh air. It really just seems like yesterday.

Monday, July 26, 2010, I went in for a routine prenatal check-up. My enormous belly itched so badly that I scratched even in my sleep (what little sleep I was able to get). Dr. Simpson took one look at my red, itchy belly and said, "You're ready to deliver, aren't you?" "ABSOLUTELY!!" was my quick, excited answer. He said that Pupp's Syndrome caused the itchy, scaly skin, and there were two ways to cure it: steroids or delivery. At thirty-five and a half weeks, I was going to meet my boys that I had only seen in grainy ultrasound pictures.

We got to the hospital at 6:00 a.m., Tuesday, July 27. Anticipation and my OCD self only allowed me a couple of hours of sleep the previous night, and the lack of sleep was quite evident on Daniel. For those of you who know me, I had to make sure everything was washed, dusted, vacuumed, and scrubbed before I could leave for the hospital. There was no way that I was coming home to a disaster. The lack of sleep hadn't kicked in for me yet. To be perfectly honest, fear and anxiousness had their nasty grip on me. Ever since I found out I was pregnant with twins, everyone had to tell me their horror stories. Moms of singletons even told me their horror stories of not getting showers everyday with only one child. They said, "How are you going to handle two at one time!" This horrified me because I have to have at least two showers a day. I can't function with less than two. I did try one day to only take one shower, and it was like I was going through withdrawals; I was fidgety and nervous and had to take a shower during my lunch break. They also told me about how my house would never be the same. From here on out, it would be a disaster. This scared me because I can't function in chaos. So, in my mind, I was going to be an unshowered wreck that can't function. All of this was running through my mind as I waited to be taken back for my c-section which also caused plenty of worrying.

At 9:00 a.m., the nurse came and took me back to get the prep work done. The funniest part of day happened during the prep work. She gave me some medicine to drink that would keep me from getting nauseous once the spinal was administered. Well, there is only one flavor that I can't stand to taste or smell. In fact, it has made me throw-up on occasion: GRAPE. And you guessed it, the medicine was grape flavored. So, I started gagging on the anti-nausea medicine:) Kind of ironic, huh? Daniel thought it was hilarious; of course, he wasn't the one gagging.

They wheeled me into the O.R. at 9:15 a.m. The spinal was administered, and things progressed rather fast after the spinal. Daniel was able to join me, and Dr. Simpson began his work. At 9:29 a.m., they pulled Peter O'Neal Slavy out. He didn't cry at first. While it seemed like forever to me, it was really only about five minutes or less before he started wailing. At 9:30 a.m., Titus Alexander Slavy took his first breath of fresh air and screamed for the first time (and hasn't stopped much). It was so cute when they first started crying because they sounded puppies. (For the first couple of months, their cries were so quiet and squeaky that they sound kind of like puppies. The cute only lasted about a week or so; after that, it was still puppy like but more annoying at 3:00 a.m.) They brought them over for me to see then whisked them away. Because they were four and a half weeks premature, extra care was given to make sure everything was functioning properly.

Once I was out of recovery, Peter was brought to the room. They told me that Titus needed to be monitored a little longer, but Peter checked out perfect. Peter seemed so tiny at five pounds, eleven ounces and eighteen inches long. His ten skinny fingers and ten very long, skinny toes were perfection. I instantly fell in love with this beautiful baby.

Holding Peter for the 1st time

What I didn't know is that Dr. MacLeod, their pediatrician, was concerned about Titus. He contemplated for a little bit about sending him to the NICU at Medical Center but gave him some time to see if his breathing would even out without intervention. Now, I was so out of it because of the lack of sleep and medicine that I don't think I could have comprehended what was happening. Daniel made sure Titus was being taken care of and that I was kept calm and able to recoup. He proved himself to be a wonderful daddy and husband. He definitely was my rock and comfort! Around mid-morning, Daniel announced that Titus, praise the Lord, began to breathe evenly on his own, and Dr. MacLeod gave the word that he was to stay at Doctor's Hospital. However, he had to stay in the nursery for the rest of the day to be monitored just in case things changed.

I held Peter all day, but I still wanted to see Titus. No sleeping would happen that night until I saw my Titus. Nothing was going to keep from seeing him in the nursery and holding his tiny little hand. I knew he was six pounds, five ounces and nineteen and a quarter inches long, but I hadn't been able to count his fingers and toes. I amazed the nurses and climbed out of bed and into a wheelchair on my own the day of my c-section. Everyone was shocked because theoretically I was supposed to stay in bed till Wednesday a.m., at least. But never, ever, ever underestimate the power of a mother!! At 9:30 p.m., I was able to hold Titus's hand and count his ten fingers and ten toes. It was once again love at first sight.

Seeing Titus for the 1st time

Much has changed since then. Peter is eighteen pounds, and Titus is a whopping twenty-two pounds. They're beginning to walk and express themselves, but my love for them remains stedfast. Each morning, I walk into their room and am greeted by two smiling faces. God has certainly blessed! Even though Titus has unfortunately been to the emergency room twice, it's been pretty much smooth sailing. God gave me a wonderful husband who through it all has remained my rock. I could not have remained sane at times if it were not for him. God also gave me wonderful parents. My mom has helped even when she didn't feel like it. It's not always easy for her to do what she wants, but she has many times helped me remain sane too. Without the support of them and an awesome church family, raising my twin sons would be much more difficult. As someone recently stated, "They're the church's babies!

Titus on the left

Peter on the right

And last, but not least, "Happy Birthday to Peter and Titus!!" Mommy loves you very much and can't imagine life without you.

Time Flies!!

It's hard to believe that a week from today the boys will be 1 year old. Can you believe it? I was told and read over and over again that because they were preemies they would more than likely be behind. We were told to expect to see milestones reached around their "corrected age." So, since they were five weeks early, we should expect them to be about a month behind other babies their age. Well, so far, that has not been the case for my beautiful boys. In fact, Titus took his first steps Tuesday (July 19); and Peter took his first steps Wednesday (July 20). This is very much within the timeline for their actual ages. It's hard to believe that this time last year I was worried about when they would come out because I knew they would be preemies. I was overwhelmingly worried that they would be behind other babies their age; but God, once again, proved that there is no need to worry, no matter the outcome. Well, this one is short, sweet, and to the point. I just wanted to brag on my boys:)

The Goodness of the Lord

If it weren't for the ups and downs of life, God's wonderful grace and goodness would never be seen. We would have no need for God's goodness if life were always perfect. Oh, how we would miss many blessings if we never had to depend on God during the tough times of life! How small God would seem if we never experienced Him during these rough times of life! I often hear people say something like this, "God has blessed me because I have good health and healthy children, etc." However, I believe that I am more significantly blessed during the chaos of life. I get to see God's mighty hand mold the life that is before me.

This week, I experienced another rough patch of life. I found out that my baby is in the presence of his (or her) Creator. He is experiencing what I have spent my entire life reading about. Yes, it has been a sad week, but I do take joy in knowing that the only thing this baby will ever know is the perfection of Heaven. He will never have to experience this old, sinful world in which we live. Praise the Lord!!

I also take comfort in knowing that I will see him again. I was more emotional before I learned the final outcome of my doctor's visit Thursday morning. Some have asked if I have grieved over the loss because I haven't cried much. I feel like King David felt in 2 Samuel 12. He fasted, prayed, and wept over his sick child. Once he learned that the child had passed away, he cleaned himself up, put on clean clothes, worshipped the Lord, and ate something. His servants were amazed at the change in him because they thought that he would be worse after he learned of the death. King David explained it this way in 2 Samuel 12:22-23: "And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." Praise the Lord!! Because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and my acknowledgement of His free gift of salvation, I will see my baby for the 1st time. And as my dad so eloquently stated when speaking about his own children in Heaven, "I can say that I have perfect angels in Heaven." I'm sure that he has already met his great-grandparents in Heaven. I know Pete, Pa, & Grandmother are already telling him all about his mom and grandparents. He's also meeting his aunts and/or uncles that I never knew. And, one day, we'll all be together in the presence of our almighty, gracious Lord and Saviour.

I feel blessed to know that God has chosen me to show His goodness through. I feel blessed to know that I have seen His grace once again. I have seen His goodness once again. I have felt His loving arms once again! Praise the Lord that He has counted me worthy to suffer loss! But to not only suffer loss, but to also know his grace and goodness!

New Adventures!

Dan's grandfather passed away several days ago, and we went to Virginia for the funeral. It was my first time visiting Virginia, but it was also my first time meeting his dad's family. It's always a nerve-wracking time meeting extended family members for the first time. Even though we've been married for four years, I felt like we were courting again. You know what I mean...you want to make a good impression and feel accepted. So, basically, I had the girlfriend jitters again. But don't worry, it all went well, and I didn't embarrass myself (at least I don't think so). Of course, the boys help make good impressions; they tend to get most of the attention:)

This morning, the boys woke up in wonderful moods, and Grandpa was finally able to get on the floor and play with them for the first time. The last time he saw them, they were still too small to be much fun with him. I came out of the bedroom after finally getting myself ready and saw toys scattered all the over the living room floor. Right in the middle on the mess, Grandpa, Titus, and Peter sat in their own little world. Grandpa tried extremely hard this morning to teach Titus to say ball. And to my surprise, he has almost gotten ball down. Although, it sounds more like bah than ball, but he's getting there. Now, Grandpa can always say that he was the one to teach Titus how to say ball.

We went to the mall this afternoon, and boy, was it not much fun at the end. Dan and Grandpa were in the arcade while I took the boys outside and sat on a bench in the mall with the boys. You know things are going down hill quickly when passing shoppers offer assistance with sympathetic faces. I thought it would be a good idea to let them get out of the stroller and stand next to it. However, I didn't take into account that they move quickly now. They kind of look like human cockroaches. They scurry faster as you bend down to pick them up kind of how a cockroach scurries when you bend down to kill it. So, I wound up chasing them down in the hall of the mall. I was reaching my breaking point quickly, and the boys passed their breaking point many minutes before me. I really didn't want to bother Dan because he was having fun playing games with his dad, but he looked out and saw my frazzled self struggling to keep the boys happy. Needless to say, we left the mall. When we got home, they took the first nap they've taken in two days. Fortunately for me, Titus slept an hour, and Peter slept almost two hours. Thank goodness!!

Long Day!!

What a day! What a day! I decided to make Father's Day dinner today for Dad since revival starts Sunday, and it would just be a frustrating time to cook. I had all of his favorite foods: fried pork chops, green beans with bacon, creamed corn, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, and turtle cake. Never did I realize how this afternoon would go down hill quickly.

Karissa came over to help me finish things up because with twins it's hard to get things done when they're not napping. For some reason, they like to be right next to me (not that I would trade it for anything in the world). As she walked out of the kitchen with their juice cups, I hear her ask, "What's that?" As I looked over the kitchen counter, my blood began to boil, and I could feel my blood pressure rising. Belle (my husband's stupid dog) decided that the kitchen floor was the place to do #2 instead of outside where she had been not that long ago. Now, the part of the kitchen floor where she decided to go was right next to the gate; and of course, guess who was holding onto the gate at the time? You're right...Peter and Titus.

I didn't immediately see anything on their hands; but upon further inspection, there it was. Peter had poo on his face and hands. I got it off Peter while Karissa cleaned up the dog mess; and then, she gave Peter a bath while I cleaned the carpet. While she was bathing him, she had another exciting surprise. Peter decided it was his turn to poo:) So, she had to clean out the bath water and finish bathing him.

Now, during this entire process, Titus was screaming in his bed because he was alone and Peter was getting all of the attention. So, I picked up Titus and handed him to Karissa to play. That's when she discovered it. He had poo on his shirt underneath his bib. Great! Another bath! Karissa gave him a bath too because I needed to finish dinner. Fortunately, all Titus did in the water was splash some.

Dinner wound up being about 40 minutes late, but it tasted great if I do say! And Karissa now knows why I'm exhausted at the end of the day. She has also begged for forgiveness for praying that we would have another set of twins:) Tonight, she realized how much work they truly are. Many times, I've told her that there's only one reason people joke about us having another set of twins: they don't have twins! She completely understands now:) I'm so blessed to have them, but I also think one set of twins is plenty.

Pat on my Back!

One of the most dreaded parts of motherhood is always the weekly grocery run. You're always afraid that you're going to be "that mother." You know the one I'm talking about; she's the one that can't keep her children from disrupting everyone around her. Her children run around her knocking over everything and everyone in sight. They can be heard as soon as they walk through doors even though you're in the back right corner. As these children's screams pierce through your eardrum, you think, "I wish she let me have them for five minutes. I could straighten them out." If you're like me, you're always afraid that even though your children are normally even tempered, today will be the day that it all changes.

Well, yesterday was my dreaded weekly grocery run. The boys woke up from their nap, and I quickly feed them their lunch. I made sure to be ready to go before I fed them so that I would be able to leave right after I finished feeding them. They are always much more pleasant on full stomachs. But then again, what man isn't more pleasant on a full stomach? I pulled into Publix parking lot and began unloading the boys, praying for a good trip the entire time. I weaved through the door pulling a buggy and pushing the stroller while feeling the pity smiles as I passed other shoppers. The boys smiled and babbled to the pharmacist while we were waiting in the pharmacy line. So far, so good:)

As I began walking down the cereal aisle, I heard an older lady mumbling under her breath about someone having too many children. Then, I saw them. It was "that mother" and her children. Her children almost knocked the older lady off her feet. I followed the older lady down the next aisle as she mumbled about not having children if you can't make them mind. As I reach the halfway point of my shopping, I heard it. There was another "that mother" in the store. Her child was screaming and wouldn't be calmed. I smiled at my boys and said a prayer of thanks. It was about now when I started feeling like a supermom. People around me began telling me how good my boys were. One mom had 14 month twin girls that she left at home with their dad. She told me that she could never bring them out by herself. Others began telling me that I was obviously doing a good job. Yet another lady asked me what my secret was for keeping the smiles on their faces. I told her, "Feed them before you bring them out."

By the end of the grocery run, I was patting myself on the back. While I was patting myself on the back, I remembered the prayers that I had offered up before I began my grocery run. Not only did God answer my prayer about not being "that mother," but He also gave me some much needed encouragement. God answered my prayer with more than I asked. It's these seemingly small gestures that remind me that God will help me through this pregnancy while raising my two sons. He's also going to help me raise our new addition whether it is one or two (we find out tomorrow).

Society's Definition of a Mom

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about society's definition of a good mom. As a first time mom, I received many questions about my plans before, during, and after the birth of my twins. Many good intentioned people offered plenty of advice and scary stories. Most of their advice was based upon their definition of a good mommy. I had advice from how to shower to how to deliver to how to properly to feed to how to make sure they slept well. My first lesson learned was how to let unnecessary information go in one ear and out the other. Hot topic number one was always...drum roll please...breast feeding. I had no desire to breast feed. Now, don't get me wrong; I have no problems with other women breast feeding. I just never saw myself as breast feeding. Well, everyone seemed to find ammunition to fire at me. I understand the advantages of breast feeding, but I also understand the advantages of bottle feeding. Do I really want to breast feed when I know that I'll feel frustration and aggravation for "having" to breast feed? Well, I gave in and tried to breast feed. Finally, my husband said to stop stressing out about it and just pump which brought about another source of contention because I wasn't bonding with my sons properly. Why did certain people feel it was necessary to stress me out even more? It's my decision, and I'm sticking with it. Just because I see things differently than you does not mean that I'm wrong and your right. Don't harass me because I made a decision differently than your decision. I also made the decision to have a c-section. This was yet another source of contention. However, I had several moms of twins tell me to consider it for the health of the babies. One of these moms has a child with cerebral palsy because of lack of oxygen from the long delivery process. Yet, singleton moms felt the need to offer their opinions, and they still offer their opinions. I just recently discussed with a mom that the cord was wrapped around Peter's abdomen twice and Titus's neck four times. Every time I think about it, I still praise the Lord that He helped me make the best decision which ultimately either saved them from permanent physical disabilities at best or death at worst. This mom then proceeded to tell me that she would still have tried to deliver them naturally. Really? Are you still trying to tell me I made the wrong decision? Society has made it hard for mom's to be mom's. Society has put rules in place as to what the perfect mom is; and if you stray from this mold, you're a horrible mom. I have two healthy sons with no disabilities because of the choices I made before they were born. Society had nothing to do with the birth of my children. The Lord helped me make the right choices then and now. If I tried to keep up with society, I would go crazy. So, don't judge me because I made different decisions than you. I praise the Lord that your children were born healthy through a natural delivery. I praise the Lord that you were able to breast feed. I praise the Lord that you did not have to face the problems that I did while I was pregnant with multiples. In return, please praise the Lord for me and my healthy children and realize that your definition of the perfect mom may be different than mine. Now that I'm pregnant again, I know that many more questions are sure to come. But, I already know that the Lord will help me make the best decision for myself and my baby/babies:)